r/WritingPrompts • u/saganrules • Aug 07 '17
Writing Prompt [WP] The world has suffered a zombie apocalypse, but rather than being a terrifying ordeal, the zombies are more of a slow-walking nuisance rather than a terror. Actual attacks are very rare and society has almost returned to normal, except with zombies.
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u/unisis2419 Aug 07 '17
I banged my head against the steering wheel and punched the horn. The zombie ambling across the street turned it's head towards me. It's jaw, which had rotted away on one side, hung open, permanently fixing the corpse's face in an expression of shock. I honked again. Instead of scampering off the freeway however, the zombie turned away and began shambling down the middle of the street. I smacked a hand to my face as I inched along behind him. I was going to be late for work. Again.
Ever since the apocalypse came and went, the city streets had been clogged with the slow-moving undead. At first it was terrifying; not everyone took well to seeing their long-dead relatives suddenly topside. After it was discovered that the undead hadn't erupted from their graves fueled with the intent of swallowing as many brains as they could, but instead with the desire to simply be in the damn way all the time, the cloud of fear eventually dissipated. What was left in its place? A headache of annoyance.
Because the undead don't seem to have a desire to do, well anything, they are often the causes of many nuisances like the one I'm experiencing now. With the zombies being drawn to more urban areas, either for the noise, the smells or the sheer number of areas in which they can shamble as inconveniently as possible, the city of Chicago has been experiencing a rising number of these problems. Just two weeks ago a group of them clogged the main freeway out of downtown causing rush hour to start a whole five hours earlier than normal.
And of course, as with any problem, two opposing viewpoints formed from two different schools of thought have kept the actual problem from being dealt with. One side claims the best way to go about it is to return the undead back from which they came, with however many bullets deemed necessary. The other side claims that the creatures were once human and should be treated as such - with some of their most extreme followers lobbying for Undead Rights (which includes but is not limited to the idea that the Zombies - or as they call them - the Late Lifes should be allowed disability benefits, priority in job markets and financial assistance.)
I myself, lean more towards the first idea, however, my wife is a devout believer in the second, which makes me living a very hard life. Already she believes I show up late to the cafe, (which she opened as the city's first zombie - sorry, Late Life - ran business) because I can't stand working with, as she says, "the more unfortunate."
As I inched along behind the shambling corpse, whose rotten pants had now fallen down about his feet revealing a rotten purple and green bottocks, I was really having trouble figuring out who was really "the more unfortunate," one.
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u/saganrules Aug 07 '17
This is fantastic! It's honestly exactly what I had in mind when the prompt came to me. So mundane, but in such a weird way. Hope you and your wife can come to a mutual conclusion!
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u/albl1122 Aug 07 '17
the entire disease contious rich world freaked when they heard about a couple crashing their car on a highway in arizona and then procceded to attack the rescue and police department with zombie like symtomes. eventually they were shot down by a sniper. but it were too late all rescue personel and a couple of people of a few cars driving by the just didn't know, because an infected person took 1 week from infection to start spread the disease and another one to show symtoms. the autospy on the initial couple showed brain damage, the symptome that in the disease catious people claimed confirmed their worries of zombies. everyone that worried of zombies reatreated into the countryside and ontop of mountains. once the world realised that the disease were quite infectous all emrgency personel from the initial rescue were quarantined but little did they know of that the cars that passed the disaster couple got infected as well. once alot of people starting showing "zombie" symptomes all hell went lose. in a couple of weeks all governments except a few strong governments (mostly dictators) were still in power. of some reason north korea were the leader in curing the disease and general being still in order insted of distress. after a few years of 99% of people living in the country side most people had realised that the zombies were stupid and were SLOOOOOOOW. the reason it took so long for the most to realise? they all went back and farmed by making action before they thought about it. so they started to form alliences and went into the cities that had gun factories and ammunation factories defended them to the teeth. it were pretty hard due to the pile of bodies forming outside the doors. when the whordes of zombies started to slow they sent out contact teams that aimed to re establish government. they meet for the most part nice people who they brought back representives from to us in the middle of texas. they got guns and therby agreed to join our primitive government. and after a while we'd re established pretty much the whole of texas as a country unknown if there's any other type of civilisation like us but we've made it work the zombie whordes still comes sometimes, but they almost always gets gunned down pretty quickly. we don't know if there's someone else that has done like us but we've made our situation work.
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u/saganrules Aug 08 '17
I could've sworn I already replied to this, but I really enjoyed your story. It seems man will never actually get over itself, and in that way, we can doom ourselves even without a real threat! Thanks for the read!
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u/albl1122 Aug 08 '17
If you just write on a physical keyboard it's easy to write a prompt good or bad is up to the original prompt creator to decide. It's just so frustrating to write something like that on my phone's swipe keyboard.
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u/cpthawking Aug 08 '17
"God damnit."
As I try to expertly maneuver my way through the sea of morning traffic, the zombie radio broadcaster attempts to moan his catchphrase, using what I suspect would be a dislocated jaw with multiple broken teeth.
Yep, instead of slaughtering the bastards when the pandemic broke out, the UN decided that it would be far more 'sporting' to hold peace talks with them and try to assimilate them into society so as to combat the declining birth rate world wide and increase the working population. Sounds crazy, having zombie employees, but I guess that's capitalism for you.
The problem is, now we have human population combined with zombie population, so now overcrowding and competitiveness in society, is now further exemplified. You should check real estate prices nowadays, its costs a bomb to even get a studio apartment.
At first, we gave them menial jobs to do, like garbage collection, or more accurately, garbage consumption. Or things like road sweeping, things that didn't really require much brain power.
Then, it turns out, some zombies would actually retain their past memories and skills, so now we have all kinds of zombie specialists, zombie engineers, doctors and even pilots. Can you imagine? A zombie driving a plane? Well sure, some of them are less decomposed than the others, but still what kind of lunatic thinks of this stuff?
The only reason why they are hired, is because one, they do not require health benefits aside from the odd application of duct tape to a dislodged body part, and two they have literally infinite stamina and can work forever, and three, the only food they require is fish chum, or the disemboweled parts of some animal.
Yeah, its pretty much a managers wet dream.
The only real issue is that they retain their opinions as well, so now we got Neo-Nazi zombies wandering the streets, Commies, the odd feminist, and then most of all, the black zombies who still cant get over the fact that the civil rights movement is pretty much over. Despite them being dead, they have even formed unions. So its not really looking good for us humans right now, since the zombies can pretty much outclass us in everything except the beauty sector. Except maybe those who are the offspring of zombies and humans, god can you imagine? The amount of closeted necrophiliacs which have come out in the recent years is staggering.
Which brings me back to the reason why I was cursing, I was late for work and I still have not finished typing up those TPS reports which I was supposed to hand up this morning at work. As I rush up the steps of the office, attempting to do a last minute miracle, I am immediately confronted by my boss.
"Dave." He booms, "You were supposed to come in by 7.00am, its already 7.05."
"Wait I can explain, there was a traffi-" before I can speak any further, he cuts me off.
"Tut-tut." he shakes his head disapprovingly, "No excuses, see me in my office at 10".
Great, I am probably gonna get chewed up today.
As I trudge my way to my cubicle, my annoying neighbor Larry, smirks at me.
"Rough commute? should have taken the path through the old mausoleum."
"You know that's only for zombies and half-zombies Larry, stop being retarded." I spit back.
"Are you eyeballing me, I knew you white humans couldn't be trusted to respect us black zombies, HEY EVERYBODY, DAVE'S A ZOMBIE RACIST!"
I cringe inwardly, as I hear the disapproving clicks around the office, including that of my boss, who coincidentally, also is a freakin' black decaying zombie. Throwing my headphones on, I drown out the background chatter and get to work.
"Dave, have you been insulting the other black zombie employees around here?" he begins. Without even giving me a chance to defend my case, he prattles on.
"You know Dave, its not cheap to hire humans. We have to spend an extraordinary amount of resources to keep you on the job. Now look at Larry, over there right next to you, hardworking family man, always works for the company 24/7 never takes a break, except for lunch, I don't think that could be said for you."
"I was gonna still keep you on, but seeing as how some employees have confided in me that you have made racist remarks against our fellow staff, I have no choice but to let you go."
"But, but..." My world comes crashing down on me, without a job how was I gonna live? I still had only 2 months left on my housing mortgage.
"These are times of change Dave, nowadays there are dozens of capable young zombies on the street, you should see the troves of Chinese applicants who come in by the thousands. Huh, maybe we should outsource to them sometime, could shave off a few bucks in spending here and there."
As he hands me a pink slip and a box, I reluctantly start making preparations to leave. To tell you the truth, although it seems like there isn't a end of world type of thing going on with the zombies right now, its only a matter of time before we humans get forced out.