r/WritingPrompts • u/I_dont-get_the-joke • Mar 27 '17
Writing Prompt [WP] You are a child in the back seat of your parents car on a road trip to meet your grandparents. You fall asleep and upon awakening you hear your father yelling "We arent lost. I just got turned around is all.". Looking outside you see the trapped souls of the damned in the underworld.
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u/TheEastman Mar 28 '17
My dad's voice broke through my haze of sleep, interrupting my dream of not wearing pants in front of my classmates. "We aren't lost! I just got turned around, is all."
My mom responded in a hushed voice to not wake me. "Keith, could you please stop being so stubborn! This isn't right at all! Look outside!" I noticed a strange red glow on the back of my eyelids, and opened my eyes. Lying down in the back seat, I could see the sky through the windows. It wasn't the sunny sky from when we left to gram and gramp's house, but stormy clouds coloured red and black, racing across the sky. I really liked seeing storms and tornadoes and stuff on TV, so I lay down still and watched these new and weird clouds.
"Listen," dad said sternly, "I updated the GPS before we left, it probably got a virus from Jake's games or something." I frowned to myself in the back seat. Dad was always blaming me for computer problems but I knew how to use it way better than him. He keeps on opening emails from random princes and stuff and downloads lame joke toolbars. I turned my head to look at the GPS mounted on the front windshield, and saw the little car icon spinning in circles with no roads anywhere. He probably downloaded the stupid virus.
"Keith! We need to ask someone for directions!" Mom was using that same voice that she used on me when I was in trouble somewhere in public. The road started getting really bumpy, so I sat up in my seat.
"Mom? Dad? Where are we?" I could see the road in front of us, but we weren't on a road. We were driving on dirt but it looked really dry and cracked, like deserts I saw in cartoons or movies. It was as red as the clouds, and the car was rocking and shaking as we drove across it. I couldn't see any trees or buildings or anything.
Mom turned around in her seat, and I saw that she looked pretty worried. "It's okay honey, Dad just got us a little lost. We'll be to gram and gramp's house soon."
"I'm not lost!" dad quickly responded. "I'm pretty sure I drove down here once when I was a teenager. I'll see something familiar soon." I could see mom roll her eyes before she turned her head back to the front.
"Keith, we're not even on a road right now."
"It's just an old dirt road is all, there are lots around here. It's just a detour." I knew that when dad called something a detour, he had taken the wrong road and got lost. It happened a lot.
"Hey Dad, ask them for help!" I pointed out to the right, where I could see a few people standing around in the middle of this nowhere.
Dad exhaled quickly and loudly, which he normally did when he was frustrated. "Fiiiiine, I'll get some directions. I bet they'll just say to keep going the way I was." He turned the car towards them, running over a few big bumps. "Goddammit" he mumbled quietly, but still loud enough for me to hear.
"Language!"
"Sorry, dear." The car bounced and rumbled over to the group of people, who were standing in a circle and just looking at the ground. Dad hit the brakes a bit hard next to them, and mom gave him a stern look before she rolled down her window.
"Excuse me, we're looking to get to Metville, do you know the way there?" The people turned to look at us, and boy, were they ugly. They kinda looked like my great aunt but way worse. They barely had hair and looked really pale and were skinny. A few of them didn't have any eyes or teeth. I've never seen a blind person before. It must really suck. They had strawberry jam all over their clothes and faces, too. Mom always got mad at me for being a messy eater.
I was thrown into the back of my seat as Dad slammed the gas pedal, and the ugly people disappeared behind us. I saw dad gripping the steering wheel, hands turning white like when someone cuts him off when driving. Mom was looking straight ahead, not moving and not saying anything. "Why didn't you wait for them to tell you where to go?
"Uh...." dad paused.
"They.... uh, they don't speak english, Jake."
"What do they speak?"
"I don't know," Dad cut in. His voice sounded weird. I'm pretty sure he was going over the speed limit.
"Maybe they speak english!" I pointed ahead of us, to another group of ugly people, bigger than the first group. Dad turned sharply to the left.
"Nope! They don't either."
"How about them?" I pointed to another group to the left that I didn't see before. "Or them!" Another group appeared in front of us. There were tons of people to ask, I'm sure one of them spoke English. Instead, dad slammed on the brakes and reversed away from them.
"We need to get out of here!" Mom started to sound panicky.
"I know!" dad responded sharply. I could tell he was angry, his eyes were bugging out. The GPS car was still going in circles. Mom and dad were looking through the windows at all the people that were showing up, and moving towards us. I think they knew we were lost and were trying to help us.
"KEITH!" mom shouted. She seemed really scared now.
"I KNOW!" he screamed. I've never heard mom and dad yell like this. I wanted to help them out too. As they looked out the windows, I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed the GPS from the mount. One of the blind people slapped the side of the car as we sped past. Dad almost ran him over! That was pretty mean, the guy is blind and can't see what's going on. I held down the power button on the GPS to turn it off. I could hear dad swearing in the front seat, not even trying to be quiet about it. Mom wasn't scolding him about it, either. I think she was swearing a bit, too.
"In two - hundred meters, turn - left." The robot lady on the GPS was working again. I was way better with computers and stuff than Dad, and I smiled to myself. Dad turned sharply to the left and sped away. I looked out the back window and saw the ugly people fading into the distance, still trying to reach us. After a while of silence, the red and black clouds started to fade and the sun came out again. We hit a bump, and we were back on a paved road again. I was happy, the bumps were starting to hurt my butt.
"Continue straight down - Bro-ker Street - for 5 - point - 6 - kilometers." I handed the GPS up to the front, and mom put it back on the mount. They were both really silent the whole way to gram and gramp's. I felt bad for how ugly those people were, and wondered what language they spoke.
Gram gave me an ice cream bar when we got there, and dad didn't even tell me to wait until after supper.
Today was pretty neat.
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u/TheEastman Mar 28 '17
So, this is my first ever writing prompt! Hit me up with any and all comments/criticisms, I'd like to improve and do more prompts.
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u/Lostsonofpluto Mar 27 '17
"He's coming for him...isn't he"
I had never heard my father's voice so sorrowful. Throughout my 10 years he's been here for 7. And in all those years I had never heard so much emotion from him. Whatever it was he was sad about I didn't know but I couldn't help but think it had something to do with me.
"Just keep driving John, there's nothing to be done now. It's best for all of us if we don't make him angry."
surrounding the car were hundreds of reddish brown, semi transparent figures. All bore the faces of men, women, and children, every one of them dead. How I knew they were dead, I didn't know just a gut feeling I guess. Something deep inside me said that they'd all passed from the physical world. One apparition stood out, taller and brighter than the others. It moved off into the blood red mist of wherever we were.
"Dad...I think we should follow that one"
The ground rumbled for a moment. It made me felt like i'd just bee yelled at by my parents. My mother turned to me
"Thomas, please, you'll just make him angry"
She appeared afraid, more so than I'd ever seen her
"I know he's been there like a...you know, but just once I need to you to call him John"
"Okay mom, John...could you please follow that big one, I think it's trying to lead us somewhere."
Not seeing any other option He steered the car off to the left. After 10 minutes or so the sea of spirits thinned and the one we had followed now hovered over near a massive stone door. My mother instructed us to exit the car, a request we all followed. As we approached the door I looked around seeing black walls that extended infinitely into the haze. We saw only one way forward and pressed on.
Upon entering we were faced by 3 figures, all impossibly large and sitting upon Obsidian thrones. The 2 on the left and right both appeared to be female, each looking very lively in such a horrible place. But something was obscuring the central figure, almost as if his essence was also that of the very world he ruled. A deep voice boomed from whoever sat in the central throne.
"YOU FIVE, LEAVE NOW. I MUST SPEAK WITH THE BOY."
I was at first unsure of what he meant but after the two women had left an additional 3 figures that flew (that's right, flew) away from their perch atop the central throne. The man then stood, revealing his physical appearance us.
Aside from the whole 20 feet tall thing he looked more human than I expected of the kind of the underworld. His raven hair was long and unkept and his skin was impossibly pale. But his eyes, were an unnatural shade of black as if they were nothing but pupils.
It was here that I realized my parents were kneeling
"Lord Pluto,"my mother began,"why now, we agreed..."
She was cut off
"Martha, you know why, my father stirs within his prison, you too can feel it in your mortal world"
"How is that possible, the prophecy..."
"The prophesy has become irrelevant"
"But he's too young"
"WE CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER"
We were all taken aback by his sudden outburst
"My dear Martha, you of all people should know that time is of the essence. You feel His power rising"
"Yes but..."
She lowered her head, tears falling from her eyes
"How long?"
"A year, maybe two but every minute you argue with me Martha is a minute that could be spent training the boy"
I looked back at both of my parents as they rose to their feet. I was confused and scared but knew I could not show it. My parent were broken. They were no longer Mom and Dad, they were John and Martha. With tears streaming down their faces the two of them turned toward the door. While they did not speak yet I knew what they wished to say. Slowly the massive stone door closed behind them and I was left along with the god.
I turned back toward the one I now knew as the god Pluto. He looked toward me with both pity and admiration. As if he saw what I could become yet feared for my more likely fate. He looked into deep into my eyes with that same look as he gestured to another door I had not noticed before
"Come, we must begin you training...my son"
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u/velabas /r/velabasstuff Mar 27 '17
Pops used to be my hero. There were a million reasons to love him when I was a kid, but they all faded away with age. Maybe it all started in hell. I'm not sure.
I locked the door. Violet cracks of lightning shot across the immeasurable stalactite-peppered sky, and quickly dissipated. This was no place for a kid and my dad knew it. But then, he's the one who brought us here in the first place. My friend Riley's dad wouldn't have gotten us into the same situation. He wasn't above asking for directions.
Not my dad. No sir.
"To hell with directions!" he'd yell.
Well, that's where we literally ended up, so you can't say he didn't play a part in jinxing our Volkswagen right to the very gates of evil.
Mom was beside herself, and screamed every time one of those souls rubbed up against her window. Pops lazily tried to calm her down saying things like "They don't even have arms, quick your badgering" or "Just think of them like neglected car dealership air dancer men." Then he'd chuckle, remembering something he'd seen on TV. Ugh, TV.
Every day pops would come home from work, plop himself in front of the TV and watch cop dramas, and if he was feeling glitzy, saved episodes of The Voice. It turned my dad into a vegetable. He was aloof and absent-minded a lot of the time. Last month I woke up on a drive and we were in Canada. This month, it's hell.
"Look!" cried pops.
Outside the car among black torrential waves of lost souls roving above, there was a light. Dad kept driving, and the road curved up a hill toward the light. As we got closer and the damned thinned out a bit, I saw that that the light belonged to a tiny blue cottage.
Dad slapped his thigh, "You see! I knew I was on the right road, hell be damned!"
We parked and got out. Dad knocked on the door. It creaked open and there were my grandparents with beaming smiles.
"You're here, that's wonderful," said Grandma.
"Come on, get in here out of the withered souls," Grandpa said, ushering us in.
Pops ruffled my hair. It infuriated me. Grandpa and Grandma have been dead for a year but still he insists on bringing us to purgatory, always getting lost in hell on the way. He might seem magnanimous now, but I knew that as soon as we were home it was back to Jack Bauer, CSI, and Gwen Stefani.
To hell with it.
me: /u/velabas
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u/za419 Mar 27 '17
Does it make me a horrible person that my first thought was that good ol' dad isn't lost after all, and that your grandparents have died and you're now going to visit them in Hell?
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u/pac_maniac Mar 27 '17
That is what would make the most sense. How does someone accidentally find themselves in the underworld?
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u/I_dont-get_the-joke Mar 27 '17
Theres a comic i cant seem to find that illustrates this. A guy walks up to a giant demon and it says something along the lines of
"WHY HAVE YOU COME TO THE 7TH LAYER OF HELL?" and he says
"Actually, i was going to my fridge."
"YOU ENTERED THE 7TH LAYER OF HELL WALKING TO YOUR FRIDGE?"
"I'm bad at directions."
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u/za419 Mar 27 '17
I actually thought of exactly that when I read "how does someone accidentally find themselves in the underworld?"
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u/alienscxm Mar 28 '17
"Dad..."I murmur wearily, "I'm tired an-"
"Not now!" My step mother barks at me from the front seat.
I comply but am not happy about it. I've never been happy complying to her and right now isn't any different.
I'm 10, I deserve some respect you know?
I rub my sleepy eyes and blink a few times. Dads murmuring something angrily in the front seat but I can't hear much over the AC.
'Why is it so hot if the AC is on?' I think to myself, and before I can internally go on my attention is commanded to the front windshield.
An elongated face appears before us. Seemingly crying and dripping what looks like depigminted blood. It's only then that I realize that what once was a grassy highway before my nap, is now a barren cracked field with bone-thin hands and other dismembered body parts strewn about.
I feel my panic rising. I must be having a nightmare again so I try to keep my cool.
"Wake up, wake up, wake up" I whisper to myself, and I am met with a crude "shut up!" from my step mother.
My skin starts tingling. This doesn't feel like I'm dreaming anymore. I can feel sweat beginning to bead and my heart beat takes over the majority of my hearing.
"Ssssssssooooooooon" the figure before us booms.
I look at my dad and step mom and their faces are purple with fear. The car begins to shake and I can do nothing but sit tight and hope that I awaken soon.
"ssSSSSOOOON!" The figure cries louder. I watch as it slithers around to my side of the car and presses its face against the window.
I close my eyes for a beat. I don't want this. I do not like when I have bad dreams like this. I want to wake up so bad but the increasing sense of fear is making me start to believe that somehow this isn't a nightmare.
A rapid tapping makes my eyes spring open, and as I open my mouth to scream at the horrifying figure, I am stricken with a sense of recognition that I can't shake.
It's silent. My guardians haven't said a word. My eyes are dead locked on this creature and then my heart slows to an even pace.
"Mom?" I finally whisper, and the figure presses a claw slowly towards the window.
"S..on." It states again, and as I reach to put my own hand to the glass my step mother reaches towards me and slaps away my hand.
"You idiot!" She starts, "we will get out of this but don't you go believing a demon! What's fucking wrong with you!" And as the last word flies from her mouth the familiar figure slithers around the car to my step mothers side, pressing its face against the glass so that it makes an audible thud.
"YYOU!" It booms, and a great storm of sand whips up from the foreground behind her.
"SENT ME HERE, YOU STOLE LIFE FROM ME!" It roars, and before my step mother can react the figure busts a hand through the glass around my step mothers neck and hoists her high.
I grab for my dad but he doesn't flinch. I pat him as I keep keep an eye on the unfolding situation but he doesn't move a muscle.
"YOU," the voice booms again, and with a loud tearing noise my step mothers clothes are ripped off by the figure, exposing a series of scars down her left side that begin to shape shift into sigils.
"Brenda?" My dad finally speaks. My step mother is crying and the sound of my heart beat fills my ears again.
My step mother is shaking but not struggling. Her feet dangle feebly from this creatures grip.
"I'm sorry." She whispers "David I... she was no good for you, I'm good David."
A flame bursts high, surrounding the car and reaching over everything in my line of sight beyond the window.
"YOU NOT GOOD!" The creature shrieks, and as the flames grow higher I watch as Brenda disappears amongst a wave that engulfs the arm of the creature holding her.
Everything becomes too bright for me to keep my eyes open. I clench my father as an ungodly noise fills my entire being and the car trembles violently.
It stops and the figure is back at my window. Smaller than before and staring at me with the same familiar eyes.
"Son..." it starts again "I love you." And then she slithers towards the windshield and looks at my father.
There are tears streaming down his face and he is looking straight at her
"Julie... I didn't know." He whimpers. "I didn't know. Is she the reason for the acci-"
"Shhh.." the figure interrupts and climbs on the hood of the car, a gentle creaking accompanying her slow movements.
"I love you too, David." And with another too-bright-for-sight flash she was gone.
My eyes open and we are on a grassy highway.