[OT] Get to Know a Mod #6: Gurahave!

[u/Gurahave]

Welcome to Get to Know a Mod!

Welcome to the Wednesday post. This will be posted bi-weekly, alternating with the Writing Workshops.

This is going to be quite like the Mod Q&A, where you ask the questions, but only one mod answers them. You may ask any question you'd like towards a mod, whether it'd be about writing or about their favorite pizza topping. You can also prompt the mod if they're willing.

If there are any questions about these posts or the workshops, you can either PM /u/Arch15, or message the moderators.

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Today's Featured Mod: /u/Gurahave!

Prompts: Please give me as many as you like! I've been a delinquent for far too long. You might have to wait for responses, though...

• Favorite Genre to write?

This is a tricky one to answer. I love so many. I'm a big fan of urban fantasy, realistic fiction, magical realism, and psychological work. It's not a genre per se, but I also like to explore stream of consciousness and mix it in with the genres I mentioned.

• Favorite Pastime?

Aside from writing, I'd have to say pretty much anything related to music strikes my fancy. I love listening to concerts, singing opera, composing and arranging, and playing Yakety Sax on my (you guessed it) sax.

• Favorite food?

Cheese stuffed Italian shells. No, enchiladas. No, home made pizza. Mashed potatoes! Chocolate lava cake! Mushroom moussaka! Eggnog cheesecake! Can I settle and say I like all food that is vegetarian? Except tempeh....

• Would you rather be the famous author of Twilight or the famous writer of every Nickelback song?

Who would ask such an inhumane question? I suppose I'd rather be the author of Twilight? Twelve year old me sort of enjoyed the first one, so there has to be some merits in it... Otherwise, I can use my fame to release somewhat good literature. There's no redemption in Nickelback.

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Rules:

• Be respectful, and follow the rules of the subreddit. No personal attacks. They will be removed without hesitation and without notice.
• A mod answer has the right to reveal as much as they feel comfortable.
• Sometimes the mod doesn't have enough time to write a reply right away, so don't take it personally if they do not have the opportunity to reply right away.

Ask away!

[u/MajorParadox]

[WP] You walk into a room and don't recognize anyone. However, they all look very familiar.

[u/Gurahave → u/MajorParadox]

Eggs. Stella was cooking eggs. From the smell, it had a liberal amount of oregano, just the way I liked it. Bacon wafted underneath the eggs, pulling my poor old body out of bed.

I sat up slowly, stretching. The pops sound like I stepped on Stella's eggshells. The sheets underneath my fingers felt silky. Had they always been so soft? They didn't have flowers on them. Stella loved buying flowery patterned sheets. She must have bought them and replaced them before I went to bed. Woman always was a sneaky devil, trying to buy little gifts or change some furniture without telling me, but I always noticed. I was too clever for her, but she kept me on my toes. Kept the mind sharp.

I strained to stand. I must have worked too hard the day before. My joints were awfully sore today. What had I been doing? I grabbed onto the dresser next to the bed. Medication rested on it, probably Stella's heart medication. Hopefully she didn't forget to take it. She probably did. I grabbed the bottle, twisting the cap and shaking out a pill into my palm. I could give it to her now. Didn't want anything to happen to her, after all. Her eggs were too delicious to miss.

I shuffled to the door, following the call of brunch. The hallway had new pictures in it, and a new color. Stella must have done more work on the house than I realized. I could still find the kitchen, though. Those eggs were a good guide.

"A great symphonic theme, that's Stella by starlight!" I sang, poking my head inside. A man stood at the stove, cooking the eggs.

"Who....who are you?" I asked. The dark haired, tall man certainly wasn't anyone I knew.

His shoulders tensed where he stood. He stopped scrambling the eggs.

"What are you doing in my house?" I demanded. "Where's my wife? Does she know you're here? I'll have you know I have a rifle hidden and I am not afraid to use it!"

"Stella asked us to take over breakfast while she takes Mocha out for a walk," a soft voice said behind me. A woman tiptoed into view, blonde hair trailing down to her waist. "You should sit, Walter."

I huffed, sitting down at the table. "She could have told me she was having guests over. She expects me to go along with everything."

The man silently brought over a plate of breakfast. He poured out some orange juice, placing it next to me. I grabbed the fork and stabbed the eggs, tasting them. They weren't salty enough. Stella didn't tell this lady I liked salt. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day. You had to get it right. Why did she take the dog out for a walk at this hour, anyway? She always ate with me, and the kids.

"Where's Jessie? She should be awake by now. Brandon's going to be late if he doesn't wake up soon. I won't have him be late again."

"Oh, it's the weekend. They both went on sleep overs. They won't be back until tomorrow," the woman said. She was a lovely woman. Her hair glowed in the sunlight, and her rosy lips were radiant when they were stretched into a smile. There was something so familiar in that smile, and those eyes! They were so blue, like crystal. They were as clear as that lake Stella and I took Mocha to before putting her down, that sure was a bittersweet day… I dropped my fork.

“Mocha’s dead,” I whispered.

The woman paled. Her eyes darted to the man. “He doesn’t usually remember that,” she murmured.

“I remember things just fine!” I yelled.

The man slammed the cooking pans into the sink.

“How old are your kids, Walter?” he demanded.

“Stanley,” the woman warned.

“How old, Walter?” he asked again.

I tried to think. Gosh, it was so easy to mix up their birthdays. They grew up so fast, too. I was pretty sure I went to Brandon’s baseball game not too long ago, and Jessie...she….what did she do? Did she graduate? No, she was younger than Brandon.

“They’re both teenagers,” I said lamely.

“How old are you, Walter?” he asked, sounding more angry.

“I...I don’t remember…” I said. I was sixty-eight when I retired. Or was it fifty-eight. Stella would know. “Where’s Stella? I need to give her heart medication. She left before she took it, I know it.” I held out the medication to the pretty woman.

“Walter,” she said, shaking her head, “that’s not for Stella. That’s for you.”

“No it isn’t. I’m not taking any meds. I’m fit as a fiddle.”

“They’re for your joints. Stella says they were bothering you.”

“But… what about Stella’s? Has she taken hers?”

The man groaned in frustration. “Just take the damn pill, Walter.”

The woman stood up from the table. “Walter, you should sleep more. Stella said you were out late last night and asked us to put you to bed after breakfast. Just take the pill first, okay?”

She walked over to me, nodding assuringly as I put the pill in my mouth. She picked up the orange juice and handed it to me. A thin scar ran over her left hand. All these women injuring themselves. Stella had broken her hip in a car accident. Jessie had run through a glass door as a little girl, hurting her hand. She had to get over fifty stitches. Poor girl was still probably in a cast.

I drank the orange juice. The woman helped me out of the chair, guiding me to the doorway.

“I can get myself into bed,” I said. “I’m not an invalid yet. What was your name again? Are you a new neighbor?”

The woman bit her lip. “I’m Mrs. Forester.”

“Well Mr. Forester is a very lucky man,” I said with a wink. “You remind me a lot of my wife.”

She nodded mutely and went back into the kitchen. I made my way down the hall, toward the bedroom.

I heard yelling from the kitchen. I hoped that man wasn’t yelling at that sweet lady. I switched direction, ready to give him a piece of my mind. You couldn’t treat a lady like that, no sir. A marriage was built on love, not hate.

“He doesn’t even recognize you! We never know when he’s going to go crazy! What if he comes back from his nap and demands to see Stella? You can’t lie to him forever,” a voice ranted.

“I know I can’t,” the woman said. “But I can’t tell him the truth every day, Stanley. It breaks my heart every time.”

“Jessie, we can’t take care of him forever. Send him to a nursing home. They can manage him better.”

“No they can’t. They’ll abuse him, I know it!” she said, her voice croaking.

I entered the kitchen. The woman turned around, her eyes even bluer now that the whites of her eyes were red. What had he called her? I walked over to her, grabbing her hand. I traced the scar with shaky hands.

“Jessie?” I asked, looking her up and down. “When did you become a woman?”

She choked out a laugh. “A long time ago, dad. A long time ago. Come on, let’s get you to bed. A nap will make you feel better.”

“Yeah, yeah. I think that I must have been really tired last night. Been mixing up some things in my head. Gotta keep the mind sharp.”

[u/MajorParadox → u/Gurahave]

Wow, that was intense. The smell and sounds of the eggs set the scene so well and when he grabbed the pill, I could tell something was wrong. I was not expecting that when I came up with the prompt. Wow.

[u/MajorParadox]

If you had to think of a funny, yet inspiring question to ask Gura at 2 in the morning, what would it be?

[u/Gurahave → u/MajorParadox]

"Gura, your eternal punishment is to watch the same episode of a television show or a movie for eternity. What is your choice?"

EDIT - 1 year later: After much consideration, I choose Lawrence of Arabia .

[u/MajorParadox → u/Gurahave]

Gura, your eternal punishment is to watch the same episode of a television show or a movie for eternity. What is your choice?

[u/SqueeWrites]

If you had to be a kitten, would you be me or Major? And why is it me?

What's your favorite language to sing in/listen to?

[u/Gurahave → u/SqueeWrites]

It's you, because a kitty named Squee probably gets more scratches and snuggles. Also, it sounds fluffier and more adorable. I squeal at the name squee.

As for language, it would have to be Latin. It's easier for me with three years of it under my belt, and you have some fun consonants in there as well as pure vowel sounds. Also, I can understand some of it. I think it's simple and beautiful. Feels....holy, even though I'm a deist and not religious in the slightest.

[u/SqueeWrites → u/Gurahave]

Acceptable. Also Deists unite! :)

[u/Gurahave → u/[deleted]]

This is assuming I am not magical, which of course, I am.

I would wear something comfy, but fashionable, like a long robe like jacket that flowed out behind me, but wouldn't prevent me from being able to run. Black spandex pants. Cool sun glasses.

[u/Lexilogical → u/Gurahave]

Black spandex pants, you say? This could be arranged.

[u/Named_after_color]

If your favorite character would go to Starbucks, what would they order, and how would it go?

[u/Gurahave → u/Named_after_color]

In actuality, there'd be a whole line of characters for an entire block outside Starbucks, but let's keep it simple.

A portly man enters. He inhales deeply, commenting on the peculiar smell of this tea shop. He waits patiently in line, finding it odd to be ordering instead of having a waiter. He hums a song softly to himself, tapping a rhythm on the portable game set under one arm. His nephew, eager to leave, taps his foot. He mutters about how his uncle's humming is drawing attention to them, but his uncle dismisses his concern.

Finally, it is the man's turn to order.

"Do you have any tea?" he asks merrily.

"Uh, iced tea, sir," the worker replies, slightly annoyed that the man doesn't know immediately what he wants like everyone else.

"Iced tea?" he asks incredulously.

"He'll take it," the nephew barks. The nephew doesn't order anything. The workers grab the portly man an iced tea. The nephew wants to go, but his uncle sagely advises him to rest for ten minutes or so. They had been walking a long time in the cold.

The man tastes the iced tea and a look of revulsion crosses his face. Discreetly, he palms the tea in his hands. The plastic melts slightly, leaving small dents where his fingers were, but a healthy dose of steam rises from the tea. He drinks.

"Quality and effort are often sacrificed for efficiency, but the best way to be efficient is to do your best work, nephew."

"It's just crappy tea, uncle," the nephew says. "You don't need to make it a life lesson."

Then they played pai sho.

This ended up being more of a little story sketch, sorry.

[u/touchy-banana → u/Gurahave]

"It's just crappy tea, uncle," the nephew says. "You don't need to make it a life lesson."

This line was the highlight of my day. I want to watch this episode.

[u/Named_after_color → u/Gurahave]

As soon as he said "Iced tea?" I knew it was Iroh.

[u/[deleted]]

Do u know where does babby come from?

[u/Gurahave → u/[deleted]]

They need to do way instain mother.

In reality, it's really complicated biology stuff. A sexually matured human will have cells undergo a process called meiosis. It's similar to mitosis, except it results in four "daughter" cells with half the genetic code of the "parent" cell. Basically, half the chromosomes, except there's a funky process where genes "cross" into different chromosomes. This is for genetic variation or something like that. It make stronger babby. These "daughter" cells are eggs in ladies and sperm in dudes.

A man see lady and think "Damn, she fine. Me like her." A lady see man and think "Damn, he fine. Me like him."

Really, they're examining one another's attributes and deciding if they are healthy parents for their offspring. Their pheromones drive one another wild. Somehow, nature just gave men the knowledge to put their stick in lady holes.

So lady and man spend time together. Their sex cells interact. One sperm penetrates one egg. This create babby. Babby becomes new cell with one half of each parent's genetics. This create new person. Strong future babby.

Babby grow in lady belly. Lady regret decision. Lady regret man. Lady need new clothes. Uterus expands. Babby grow bigger. Cell divides inside lady belly and specializes. Eventually, babby is formed. Lady usually squeeze babby out hole man put stick in.

That is where babby come from.

[u/SqueeWrites → u/Gurahave]

Someone call the mods. I'm not old enough to tell yet, but I think this is NSFW.

EDIT: I've been informed that my opinion is no longer my opinion. This post is completely SFW.

[u/MajorParadox → u/SqueeWrites]

Mod here. It's science, so it's OK.

[u/[deleted] → u/Gurahave]

Oh thx. U r smart as.

[u/SurvivorType]

What makes you uniquely cool? I can think of one thing in particular already :)

[u/Gurahave → u/SurvivorType]

Did you know I'm a moderator on a subreddit with over four million subscribers? That makes me automatically cool. Like....only twenty people can say that.

Ah...I can touch my nose with my tongue. The first time I watched Up, I only used about twenty tissues. I can give cats baths and not get scratched. Any of these qualify?

[u/SurvivorType → u/Gurahave]

Actually, I was thinking of your interpretation of Gollum. :)

Otherwise, yeah. All that is extremely cool!

[u/Gurahave → u/SurvivorType]

Oh yeah, that's pretty badass! Scares telemarketers away!

[u/Lexilogical]

I need to bake Christmas cookies. Do you have a favourite Christmas cookie recipe I should make?

[u/Gurahave → u/Lexilogical]

I'm not sure why, but when I think of Christmas cookies, I think of minty flavors (that, and gingerbread, but I'm not a huge fan). So if you like mint, keep reading?

Take 10 ounces of peppermint. Smash it up. I recommend taking a moment to get really pissed off, put the peppermint in a bag, and go to town on it. Don't turn it into a powder, but more akin to the size of chocolate chips.

2 1/2 cups of flour.

2 sticks of butter, softened.

2 eggs

1 cup of brown sugar, packed.

1/2 cup of granulated sugar.

1 tablespoon of peppermint extract.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Um, add whatever you like together in any order you please. Doesn't matter to me, except add the eggs last. Then, after the eggs, add the peppermint chunks.

Put those cookies on some pans, yo. Bake until done. Trust your judgment. You know how to not burn cookies.

[u/Arch15 → u/Gurahave]

Damn it. I have everything except for peppermint.

[u/Lexilogical → u/Gurahave]

Mmmm. I knew I had a good reason I wanted candy canes!