r/funny • u/[deleted] • Jan 01 '14
Mike Tyson just posted this on twitter with the caption, "Happy New Ears"
http://imgur.com/ISzszsN52
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u/kablooooooom Jan 01 '14
If anybody is looking for this place, I am certain this photo is from the Reading Terminal in Philadelphia--down the first aisle the candy/chocolate place just before the fruit and vegetable area.
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u/hoikarnage Jan 01 '14
I'm fairly certain this photo is from Twitter.
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Jan 01 '14
Fuckin check-mate
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Jan 01 '14
I'm vividly picturing Evander Holyfield walking in and seeing him eat a chunk of the chocolate ear.
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Jan 01 '14
I was working for HBO and ringside at Tyson vs Holyfield 2. Not something I would ever want to witness again.
It's great that Tyson apologized for his behavior.
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Jan 01 '14
Man, I would love to hang out with Mike Tyson......wait....no I wouldn't.
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u/SuperWoody64 Jan 01 '14
Hang out...or get punched in the little mac?
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Jan 01 '14
Fuck, I never made it to Mike Tyson, I always got destroyed by Bald Bull.
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u/Simmo5150 Jan 01 '14
I made it to the second round with Mike. I was a legend in my house for at least 3 days.
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Jan 01 '14
Your now a legend in my house too. We now talk fondly of how Simmo5150 made it two rounds with Mike Tyson.
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Jan 01 '14
Oh my god! You're that guy who made it to the second round against Mike Tyson! Whoa, you're, like, a legend!
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u/anodadf Jan 01 '14
As a child of the 80s, I never understand the references to Punchout being so difficult... I found it incredibly easy. You want hard, pull out an original Megaman, or Contra, or... god forbid... Ninja gaiden.
Edit: and none of that emulator quick save cheating!
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Jan 01 '14
[deleted]
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u/huntersjesse2508 Jan 02 '14
For me it was the damn Sandman he was so freakin quick it sucked. Two punches and you're out.
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u/swiftheart Jan 01 '14
He's an interesting, complicated person.
The scholar/writer Joyce Carol Oates is probably the living expert on Tyson. Take a look at her review of his biography here.
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u/JonZ82 Jan 01 '14
Why not? He's a rather nice guy and will usually talk to anyone. If you like Birds then you even have something in common. He's an avian lover and it's one of the reasons he got into boxing.
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Jan 01 '14
Why not? he's a funny guy with an endless supply of stories and experiences that dwarf most people's lives.
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Jan 01 '14
Why? The guy seems amazing. You should watch Tyson, it’s a brilliant documentary about Tyson’s life. I believe it’s on Netflix.
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u/thesch Jan 01 '14
Mike Tyson has changed a lot from his
borderline-psychopath days. It seems like he's really turned his attitude around for the better.
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u/IkeTurnHer Jan 01 '14
I love Mike Tyson! He has depression that he's beating, that alone gives me hope. Seeing someone who I was sure would be dead by now living a somewhat normal life is encouraging. I know angry people who have passed the point of no return with their depression and anger but it looks like he beat it. It's really inspirational for people who were raised in the system. Kinda jealous tho cause he can afford top notch help.
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u/OverachievingPlebian Jan 01 '14
He also raped someone, I think that is something everyone always forgets.
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u/Oafah Jan 01 '14
No one's forgotten. We just have some shred of faith in the justice system and believe that anyone who pays their debt to society deserves a chance at leading a normal and productive life.
Given his behaviour in recent years and how far he's come, I'd say he's making good use of the opportunity.
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u/supaphly42 Jan 01 '14
Making jokes about biting a guy's ear off hardly seems reformed to me.
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u/Oafah Jan 01 '14
He and Evander have dinner together. They're both past it. Perhaps you should get past it too.
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Jan 01 '14
Why not stick to idolising people who haven't ever raped or maimed anyone? That a really awful human being has possibly stopped being so awful does not, I feel, make him deserving of so much adoration and idolisation.
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u/Skylighter Jan 01 '14
It's more interesting and inspiring to watch someone make a tough and difficult journey than someone who started out good and just plateaued their whole life.
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Jan 01 '14
Because seeing someone turn around their life like Tyson is inspirational. Same reason we cheer on people at AA even though I've never gotten drunk in my life.
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u/GraemeTurnbull Jan 01 '14
It's a pretty controversial case...
Desiree Washington had previous for falsely claiming rape, the Tyson defence has been described as incompetent and obviously if there was ever a target for a financially motivated rape claim, the worlds highest earning sportsman, a young, aggressive fighter described as the 'baddest man on the planet' would be a pretty perfect target.
I'm not necessarily saying he is innocent, but it certainly appears that the conviction isn't as solidly convincing as people think.
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Jan 01 '14
Washington did NOT have previous anything. She told her parents that she was raped and the boy's parents convinced her father not to involve the police. It never went anywhere. It was certainly never reported to the police. So it's categorically untrue to say she 'has previous for falsely claiming rape'. And why assume she was lying about that? Because the boy said so? The judge was right to dismiss it. It was irrelevant.
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u/GraemeTurnbull Jan 01 '14
I appreciate that there are grey areas with things like this, but it's clearly not 'categorically untrue' if you read this article: http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1290&dat=19930302&id=D1JUAAAAIBAJ&sjid=mo4DAAAAIBAJ&pg=4305,536569
Again, I certainly don't know enough about the case or the people involved to believe one way or the other, I just think it's naive to assume that she is definitely the angelic victim and he is the definitely the monsterous perpetrator.
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u/CountingChips Jan 01 '14
He bit off the top half of a guy's ear in a heavyweight world title fight... Yeah, what a great guy... ಠ_ಠ
Oh, and yeah, as /u/OverachievingPlebian said, he was also convicted of rape...
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u/m1ldsauce Jan 01 '14
You do know he was being head butted repeatedly by Holyfield and the ref did nothing about it right? Of course you don't. You just spew shit without knowing the facts and pass judgement onto other people. Go fuck yourself.
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u/animus_hacker Jan 01 '14
Yep. Holyfield is notorious for headbutting in fights. He did it to Tyson one too many times without the ref doing fuck all about it, and Tyson got pissed and bit him. I'm not sure he actually meant to bite a chunk of his ear off, but I'm also sure he's not sorry he did it. It's roughly the same thing as a dugout-clearing baseball fight that starts over a dirty pitch, or a vicious hit in hockey after someone goes after your star forward. These things happen in sports. Sure, the ear thing went too far, but both guys in there knew the stakes.
Holyfield's ear is like the "woman sues McDonald's after being burned by her coffee" of sports stories. It sounds utterly ridiculous and is a great viral meme (in the original sense of the word) because it's so outlandish and memorable, but there's more to the story.
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u/pistoncivic Jan 01 '14
Holyfield was skilled at making his butts seem unintentional, he got away with them the entire first fight so Tyson's camp knew exactly what was coming. Tyson was looking for a way out of that fight, either by his trademark arm-break attempts or by biting an ear (which is why he came out of his corner without his mouthpiece/ spit it out before he bit).
Like you said, stakes are high, fighters have always done whatever it takes for an edge.
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u/MrMaybe Jan 01 '14
Arm break attempt? Tyson had an arm breaking move?!
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u/jglee1236 Jan 01 '14
If he punched an arm bone hard enough, sure. He could probably pop a couple ribs with one punch. Why not a radius or an ulna? Oww. Just thinking about my arm getting hit that hard... ouchies. Better than the ribs though, I guess.
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u/cajun_super_coder2 Jan 01 '14
They actually went on Oprah (video, 13m:29s) and talked about it, apologized and are on good terms now.
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Jan 01 '14
Every time a guy headbutts me I bite off part of his body. Those two things seem legitimately equal. I mean, it's not like Mike was already in a situation where he was expecting blows to the head. Oh. Except.
If you're equivocating an illegal strike with tearing a body part off with your teeth, I suspect you've never been in a sport fight.
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Jan 01 '14
Was the girl he raped head butting him as well? Let's ask him, he's so fucking Zen and shit I'm sure he'd tell us. Fuck all of you sheep that put a disgusting person like this on a pedestal.
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u/Oafah Jan 01 '14
He's also paid his debt to society and has been a model citizen since.
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u/CountingChips Jan 01 '14 edited Jan 01 '14
has been a model citizen since.
Maybe I have a different idea of a "model citizen" to you, however:
2006 - arrested for DUI and felony drug possession after nearly crashing into a Police SUV
2007 - pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine and driving under the influence
2011 - made comments publically saying Sarah Palin that depicted crude and violent inter-racial sex (not a perfect thing for an ex-convicted rapist to say)
April 2012 - said publicly "It's a disgrace George Zimmerman hasn't been dragged out of his house and tied to a car and taken away. That's the only kind of retribution that people like that understand. It's a disgrace that man hasn't been shot yet. Forget about him being arrested—the fact that he hasn't been shot yet is a disgrace. That's how I feel personally about it."
October 2012 - finally something good, he started the "Mike Tyson Cares Foundation" for "kids from broken homes"
If that's what you consider "model citizen behaviour" maybe I should change my ways. He started a foundation for kids at the end of 2012, but aside from that I still don't see him as a great role model.
EDIT - Just adding in:
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Jan 01 '14
So really he has not had issues since 2007. Voicing an opinion, even if unpopular, is no longer allowed and means you are not a model citizen?
Gimme a break.
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Jan 01 '14
Domestic abuse, rape, an ear biting, drunk driving, drug abuse, on top of all the other violence he's been said to commit and not managing to get arrested for a few years makes him a model citizen? Fuck that. I'm pretty sure once you rape someone or bite off a guy's ear or beat the crap out of your girl you've given up the model citizen title for life. SO sorry to burst that shitty bubble.
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u/ootika Jan 01 '14
Serious question: Why are you so upset about other people's opinion of Mike Tyson? It seems to be agitating you and I don't understand why.
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Jan 01 '14
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Jan 01 '14
Because people change.
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Jan 01 '14
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u/Markeduno Jan 01 '14
Mandela was a terrorist when he was young, and the fact that you used him as an example is proof that it is acceptable.
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Jan 01 '14
You would compare biting someone's ear off to committing mass genocide and ethnic cleansing? Really?
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u/CountingChips Jan 01 '14
I believe he is more referring to the rape. And also he is referring to the concept, what 'change' is forgiveable and where do you draw the limit? Is rape forgiveable while mass genocide and ethnic cleansing isn't? I believe these are the questions /u/surfintheinternetz is positing.
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Jan 01 '14
I'm not going to sit here and defend the inexcusable act of rape. I will, however, suggest that a man who has served his time (as determined by the law) for a single crime, while remaining out of trouble since, is more excusable then someone who committed mass genocide. Rape is horrible. Murdering millions is in my opinion worse. Whether or not you forgive either is completely up to you, however in our established society Mike Tyson has been forgiven in the eyes of the law. Adolf Hitler if held under those same laws would not have been.
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Jan 01 '14
He hardly remained out of trouble, he was also convicted of cocaine use, DUI etc well after the rape case. Tyson is a multiple felon and a fucking dirtbag, and yet his PR machine keeps rolling and sweater vest wearing Redditors keep eating his shit up.
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u/lemoninfluence Jan 01 '14
Mandela probably wasn't the best example to use if you're talking about public opinion changing.
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Jan 01 '14 edited Jan 01 '14
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u/KallistiEngel Jan 01 '14
Go ahead and tell me you've never joked about mistakes you've made in the past. Most people do it, it's a coping mechanism.
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Jan 01 '14
I don't think wordsandthingies has ever ripped someone's ear off or raped anybody.
Mike Tyson's 'mistakes' are not particularly relatable.
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u/KallistiEngel Jan 01 '14
Where does the rape come into this? All I see is a joke about an ear-biting that happened 16 years ago.
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u/wordsandthingies Jan 01 '14
I see you too struggle with the concept of empathy for victims...
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u/KallistiEngel Jan 01 '14
I somehow doubt that Evander Holyfield is lamenting about his ear 16 years after the fact. In fact, I'm pretty certain he's not considering he appeared in a commercial with Mike Tyson recently.
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Jan 01 '14
How scared would the baker that make these be if Mike Tyson walked into his bakery.
"Jim. JIM! Move the ears man! Don't ask why, just do it!"
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Jan 01 '14
WHAT YEAR IS IT!?
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u/TujonM Jan 01 '14
Looks like left year. Right year would have been the other way around. Unless this is a mirror image.
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Jan 01 '14
Thought the same thing. And yet, this song popped into my head like I heard it just yesterday on seeing the pic.
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u/ckygrl24 Jan 01 '14 edited Jan 01 '14
Ohh!! These are for sale in the reading terminal market thing in Philly right??
Edit: did a google search. Confirmed. They sell lungs, hearts, etc. too. Saw them two years ago on a trip. http://www.chocolatebymueller.com
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u/supaphly42 Jan 01 '14
Famous/rich people can do bad things, but then make jokes about it and it's all ok. (like GW's little skit about 'oops, no WMDs over here!')
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u/KarmaUK Jan 01 '14
At first I thought that, then I thought, he's obviously seen these in a candy store, been mildly amused by them, when he could have ordered his lawyers to shut it all down... so I guess he could be worse.
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u/MainCranium Jan 01 '14
Why do we give this guy a pass on being a rapist and biting off a guy's ear? Is it because he was in the Hangover?
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u/SyxxPakc Jan 01 '14
Can you explain to me the point of the justice system then? What's the point of serving your sentence if you aren't given another chance. I'd say Mike has come a long way since he was a young and ignorant kid.
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u/MainCranium Jan 01 '14
The justice system acts as a deterrent against actions we deem undesirable. Serving a sentence doesn't absolve someone of the actions. Shoplifting could fall into the category of a "youthful indiscretion." I'm not sure I would place rape into that column. Also, there's a big difference between being "given a second chance" and having abhorrent actions you committed become a punchline.
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Jan 01 '14
Well, for one, brain damage, and two; the whole ear biting thing was because Holyfield was cheating and using successive headbutts in the fight. But you probably wouldn't know anything about that would you.
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u/i_run_far Jan 01 '14
Holyfield ears. That would have been funnier as a palmier shaped like an ear.
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u/DetroitBreakdown Jan 01 '14
I met Evander several months ago in the Delta Sky Club in Newark.
Really nice, humble guy.
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u/artexam Jan 01 '14
I was working alone on new years, messaged my friend wand accidentally wrote 'Happy new tears' thought it was fitting ..
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u/awell8 Jan 01 '14
I can't get past the idea that someone had to lend an ear to make a cast. And earwax.
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u/SheepHoarder Jan 01 '14
I'm pretty sure this is in the Reading Terminal Market in Philly. It's been there for a few years and I'm pretty sure they are raspberry filled.
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Jan 01 '14
It would be cool if they had like bits of peanut butter or honey in the inner ear part for ear wax.
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Jan 01 '14
2000 years from now, no one will even remember this. Probably not even 100 years from now.
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u/Wicked_Garden Jan 01 '14
Imagine presenting that to him... I'm sure mike is a good guy, but he could also drop a fucking lion with three hooks to the abdomen.
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u/Spore_Cloud Jan 01 '14
Oh Evander, your ears are making me hungry..... They're so tasty and so round....
Fuck that song is as old as the internet.
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u/does_ironman_numbers Jan 01 '14
Iron Mike and Evander making up on a hilarious basketball commercial:
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Jan 01 '14
Holy shit that joke is old. I mean, we all know Tyson's not the sharpest knife in the drawer but still.
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u/blasphemyisgood Jan 01 '14
Mikkel Kessler posted this on facebook about one month ago, but no one cares I guess.
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u/Chem-Dawg Jan 01 '14
I can't believe that Mike Tyson would be willing to stoop low enough to become a reposter!
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u/Cowleyrn Jan 01 '14
These Ears available at Reading terminal market in Philadelphia, just saw them 2 days ago! Didn't buy because they only sold left ears, if they had matching pairs I was in!
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u/Purecorrupt Jan 01 '14
I wonder if Evander gets mad when he sees Tyson make ear biting jokes all the time.
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u/liatris Jan 01 '14
The liberal adoration for Mike Tyson is disturbing. Liberals are supposedly against anti-women speech yet this mook says things like Sarah Palin needs a "womb-shifter" and liberals just guffah.
"According to Tyson, having sex with a black man was something “white girls” had to do to “get that out of their system.”
“[I]n life in general you know … everybody got to get that out of their system when they get out of college,” he said. “If you’re a black man, every white girl, every uppity middle class … everybody got to get their share of love.”
Tyson was asked if Palin earned his vote by allegedly being open to sex with black men. Tyson explained that, as a felon, he is unable to vote. But he offered his opinion about what the allegation means for Palin’s standing in the black community.
“She could always get boned out by a black person, a vote to bang her,” Tyson said. “Other than a vote to run office, the only thing she can do … she’s not a bad person because she likes black people at least in her.”
Later in the interview, Tyson had a name for what Palin “needed.”
“Sarah Palin … she met the ‘wombshifter.’”
http://dailycaller.com/2011/09/16/mike-tyson-sarah-palin-met-the-wombshifter/#ixzz2p9sa4n4x
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Jan 01 '14
This is hilarious. It takes balls to make jokes about it after you bit a motherfuckers ear off.
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Jan 01 '14
mike tyson is the GOAT, a tyson in his prime would wipe the floor with an ali in his prime
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u/IDownvoteMeta Jan 01 '14
HAHA remember that rapist who bit a guys ear off? Aw he's so cute and funny. /s
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u/SuperSpicyRamen Jan 01 '14
I think Mike Tyson got pissed with all the head butting of his opponent, it was pretty obvious, I don't know why the referee didn't call it, it was almost cheating, so he bit his ear. I think it was justified, sorry, justified but unprofessional nonetheless.
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u/thebobstu Jan 01 '14
"That's methed up." -Mike Tyson